Adoption Lifebooks Are An Important Tool

The adoption lifebook is an important tool in the life of an adopted child.  It helps him connect with who he is and where he came from, thereby giving an adopted child roots since the lifebook answers important questions for him about his birth family, and why they gave him up.

Furthermore, a lifebook often cements the child’s bond with his adoptive family.  By giving the adopted child knowledge of his birth family, it frees him to bond more deeply with his adoptive family.  In fact, in the process of working on a lifebook with your child, you may find that you have connected more deeply with him, too.

Post-Adoption Information To Include In A Lifebook

An adoption lifebook should grow with your child throughout his life.  Not only should his lifebook include information about his birth, birth family, and the circumstances surrounding his adoption; it should also tell the story of his life with you, his adoptive family.  Some ideas for post-adoption pages are:

• Information about your own family (family tree, schools attended, occupations, birthdates, marriage information, and other special occasions, ect.)


• How you and your spouse met


• Why you decided to adopt


• Photos and facts about his adoption day


• Adoption shower/ party details


• Facts about his infant and toddler years


• His school years, grade cards, special school papers, artwork, ect.


• Have him journal in his lifebook about everyday life, special occasions, feelings about being adopted, and so forth.

As you can see, a lifebook can play a significant role in your child’s life.  Spend time with him as he grows older working on lifebook pages together, and looking through and reading his lifebook; as well as discussing any questions that may arise out of those moments.  By creating a lifebook for, and with, your adopted child, you are passing on a heritage to him that he will treasure for years to come.

What Is An Adoption Lifebook?

An adoption lifebook is the story of your child’s life, beginning before he was adopted.  It offers as much detail about his birth family as possible, and then grows with him as he goes through life.  A lifebook is more than a baby record book, more than a scrapbook, it is his story and his connection to who he is, where he came from, and why he was placed for adoption.

Beth O’Malley, author of Lifebooks: Creating A Treasure For The Adopted Child [Adoption-Works Press, 2000], believes that a lifebook “should be required for each adoption, just like the birth certificate.”  In response to being asked for her explanation of what a lifebook is, Ms. O’Malley declares that a lifebook the “best gift in the world for an adoptee.”

How To Create An Adoption Lifebook

Creating an adoption lifebook can be as simple or complex as you choose to make it.  Some adoptive parents buy a ready-made one from a bookstore or online.  There are also printable pages that you can find online, occasionally for free, to use by placing them in a 3-ring notebook binder.  It isn’t what you use or how you do it that is important, it’s that you do take the time to put together a lifebook that makes all the difference in the world to your child.

A simple and easy way to get started is to gather together the following materials:

• A 3-ring binder- approximately 2-3 inches thick


• Clear page protectors


• Lined or unlined paper or cardstock


• Pens and markers (or use your computer to design pages)

Once you have your materials together, start at the beginning – his birth – and build from there, adding pages as he grows into adulthood.  Include pages that address his past, as well as the present, and add pages that he has created as well.  Getting started is the hardest part.  Creating a lifebook for, and with, your child is an act of love, and will create a memory that will last a lifetime.

Pre-Adoption Information To Include In A Lifebook

An adoption lifebook should begin before your adopted child came into your life, at the point of his beginning- with his birth family- and then grow with your child throughout his life.  Some important information to include (at least as much as possible) in your child’s lifebook are:

• Information about his birth (date, time, place, weight). 


• Details about previous foster homes or orphanages.


• Facts about his country of origin- if he was born internationally.


• Birth family information- particularly birth father and birth mother.  Include birthdates and places, names, and so forth.


• If you know the facts surrounding your child’s placement for adoption, include it in his lifebook as well.  If this information is not available, or sketchy, it is far better to skip over this section than to offer false information with the intent to spare his feelings.  Always be honest with your child, being careful to explain details on an age-appropriate level, and leaving out complicated details that are better left for a time when he is emotionally able to handle them.