Before a birthmother can start to plan adoption, she must be aware of her options. She must weigh out the choices of terminating her pregnancy, planning an adoption, or parenting the child. She should use the option that she believes is best for both herself and her child.
She should thoroughly consider why she is planning an adoption, if it is fully her decision, and if she is comfortable sharing this information with her child at some point. The next thing to consider is the type of adoption the birthmother wants to pursue. She should educate herself on the degrees of openness there can be in an adoption. She may feel she just wants periodic pictures and updates of how her child is doing, or she may want regular direct contact with the adopting family.
She needs to also decide what she is looking for in an adopting family. The birthmother should also consider the other people in her life and their reactions to her adoption plan, especially the birthfather. The birthmother may wish to create a journal or scrapbook of her thoughts and decisions during her pregnancy that she can share with her child.
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|Jennifer Mathes, Ph.D.|